...The OCCULT...
There ARE forces out there that we do not understand, and we need to be very careful with.
In College, I had a brief affair with Tarot Cards. I had been visiting my cousins for a few weeks during the summer, and they had a deck of those very colorful Tarot Cards that you can find for sale. We were into making up skits and short plays, and we made up a silly one that we performed for the other young people in the Apt Complex...whether they wanted to see it or not. I would dress myself up as best I could to look like an old Gypsy woman, and they would act like a married couple. They would come to me for a reading, and I would lay out a spread. For the 'Wife', I described a very nice future. For the 'Husband', I looked at the spread, and pushed it off the table. They asked me what it had predicted, and I would refuse to say, and they kept pestering me, and I finally croaked out..."It...says...DEATH!!!"...and then I would press my hands over my chest and 'die'. We thought it was funny.
Well, I had never looked at Tarot cards before, and so back at home I bought a deck, and a book that explained what each card meant. But, that wasn't enough for me, and I went into an Occult Store in Berkeley and bought several 'serious' books on the Tarot. One was very captivating, it just explained the Major Arcana, the cards that had meanings, the 'Face Cards', and didn't discuss the Minor Arcana, the ones that just had a number of the symbols. (Like the 'Hearts', that has ten cards in it.) That book was very difficult to read and was very complex. So, I studied it hard, and as it recommended, meditated on it. I began having unusual dreams, some were very disturbing.
Anyway, my friends at College were sometimes interested in seeing me do a reading, and I would accommodate them, and it was just fun. I did my nest to interpret the cards as best as I could, based on the serious books, and didn't make stuff up.
One afternoon, a guy that I somewhat knew showed up with my roommates. He was a musical Genius, he understood music and knew a lot of the history of classical music, and played the piano at the Professional level. He wanted to become a Conductor. He had gotten a bad case of a disease that affected his muscles, and it really ruined his hands, and he couldn't play the piano very well. He brought a jug of wine, and we visited and drank, (We did NOT get drunk) and talked of campus life and other people, and then he said that he had heard that I read Cards. I briefly explained that they were Tarot Cards, and that I used a very much unknown deck that were Egyptian, rather than French or Italian. In my studies, I learned that Tarot had started in Egypt, so I read a very complex book that used Egyptian cards. He asked to see them, so I went up to my room, and brought down the deck and showed it to him.
The Egyptian deck was just black and white, and had stick figures and unusual objects on them, they weren't the very colorful artistic decks you see for sale. He then asked me to do a reading for him, and he wanted to know if he would regain the use of his hands to the level they had been before they were crippled. I said OK, and told him how we would do the reading, the Book had taught me the proper way to prepare to do a layout and reading.
First, we both took five deep breaths together, and focused on the question, and then he picked up the deck with his LEFT HAND, and shuffled them three times, and we took three deep breaths together between each shuffle, focusing on the question. Then he handed them to me with his left hand, and I took it in my left hand, and then laid out a seven card reading in a certain pattern, and then put the deck down, and I looked at the cards, and interpreted what they said in my mind.
Usually, that procedure was so easy for me and the subject, no unusual feelings or whatnot, and I would calmly and rationally explain what each card meant. But this time was TOTALLY DIFFERENT. We were BOTH out of BREATH after I laid out the reading, as if we had run for a mile, and my mind was fuzzy for a moment. Then, as I caught my breath, and my mind cleared, I got a feeling for what the entire layout was saying, and I wasn't focusing on each card. I sat for a while, looking at him...he was also gasping for breath for a while, and then he calmed down. I shook my head, and said,
..."It is actually pretty clear. Yes, you will regain your skills in playing the piano, but it won't matter."
He looked relieved, but confused, and asked, "Why won't it matter?" I just shook my head, and told him "It doesn't say any more, just that you will play again, but it won't matter." I then chuckled, and said, "Most people just believe Tarot is just a parlor game, like reading a crystal ball, so don't take it seriously." He laughed, and agreed.
Well, in the years that followed, he did get back to his level of piano performance, but it really didn't matter because he also became the Assistant Conductor of the S.F Symphony, one if the Worlds most premier orchestras and was the Conductor for several other professional orchestras. And...
...unfortunately, he died young...
...So it just didn't matter...
I had put away the decks of Tarot cards after his reading, I was having more disturbing dreams.
The dreams stopped a few months after I placed the cards in a deep drawer in my desk.
So, I REALLY don't know if I was tapping into something outside of normal human experience, or if my interpretation just gave the young man inspiration to just continue practicing and studying music, and to not worry about the level of his performance, or if I had received an insight into the future. Either way, the Tarot Cards became real things for me, and I just did NOT WANT to delve more into them. I actually got scared over where they could lead me. I mean, what if I could ACTUALLY get glimpses into the future. That might be very disturbing, and life might become difficult.
Part of the fun of life is it's unpredictability. One can prepare for months and years for an activity of event, and then 'things just happen'.
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