Wanted - feedback on the RoT crossing and more...

[Sidona]

I would like to know what everyone thought of the River of Tears crossing.
I'd like to hear what emotions were brought up, what kind of lessons were learned, what was going through Your minds at the time of the crossing.

Every crossing is different, every little bit of what You have to share about it is important so please feel free to express what You felt about it.

[Shylina Marie]

the crossing for me is always an emotional thing.  its stressful and emotional.  the soul of a herder is to the beasts she cares for and each loss takes another piece of her each time... it will be another long healing process for her...

[razz|n.o.i.r]

((char is currently unconcious. will post here soon))

[rep]

(this is where she is 'now' subject to change with further reflection)

until her body hit the water she had so many thoughts and emotions go thru her. after that it was pure reaction, with emotions put on hold until a later time (more r/p)).

the Crossing in itself, seemed endless, wagons in front, wagons in back, wagons on each side, but not really seeing anyone (r/p-wise) surrounded by family but feeling so very alone and completely rely on herself. not that that is a bad thing normally but this was the Rot which changed everything. there was little comfort to be found before getting to the water's edge and worse when entered. she didn't feel abandoned but did feel alienated. partly it was something she had done to herself, keeping fellow slaves at a distance and it made her pause to rethink that choice. the Frees she is usually lucky enough to get attention from were too busy with their own worries and not a scared lil slave's. she didn't want a cuddle in a lap, she needed to kneel or at least get Instruction or even a Look. she didn't' get any of that. she was left to her own strengths and own weaknesses. the protection she had always felt in that collar seemed to have vanished. yet there was no time for panic or escape, she just had to do it, somehow. there wasn't much time for thought beyond the present once we entered the water. lightning and thunder only made things worse (r/t trigger) for her. she was starting to loose control of the wagon when fate stepped in to end that fight for her. there's been some real helpless feelings in a girl before but atop that loose wagon took it to new heights and once in the water, who knows how a Warrior makes a decision on who or what might live or die? at the time, it didn't matter whom saved her (sorry Master) or why, only that she was and when finally at the river banking it was too late to try and express anything because she didn't have the strength and Master Raziel was there to look after the whole family not just her. that moment was gone though the memory will remain and become either more clear or get buried. the lines between Free and slave got blurred to her in time of the crisis though she never forgot whom or what she is (not sure if that makes sense). everyone was just family for awhile.. she didn't want to be some earthen damsel in distress, she wanted that trust in her to be realized and not regretted, but in the end, she needed saving and was lucky to get it. she'll be forever bonded to Master for what he did, even if was just his duty.

much remains unresolved in kiah's head and heart . the answers, the lessons, will hopefully continue to come

she lost the wagon and stock she was responsible for
she was saved by Master Raziel but at what cost
'her' wagon hit Beast and perhaps caused it's death

~edits to add~....that THREAT to skin her ass!

[Medi]

this was this girls first crossing, and she really didn't know what to expect, even though she had read the past logs.  she felt prepared, but anxious, as she mounted one of the freight wagons, and sat with the npc Master who was driving.  later, an npc kettle joined us on the bench.  one thing that became clear was that there were no totally protected Tuchuk members, many long term Tuchuk suffered losses and injuries.  i actually felt the fear of a sister that was swept away when her wagon broke up, but was rescued by the Masters downstream, and i cried out with relief when she was taken up onto a Masters saddle.  the event that actually made this girl cry was when an older, outer circle wagon broke up.  the sight of the older couple embracing, and then disappearing below the surface, never to reappear,  is a memory that will haunt me forever.  they knew that their wagon was old, and might not make it across, but they tried, and then accepted death with dignity and love.

the sacrifice of the young Master was beyond description, this girl will find His family and sing for Him with His brother when the time comes, it is no wonder that the Tuchuk can survive on the plains, with such Free guiding them.

amanda did act impulsively several times during the crossing, that is part of her nature, and she hopes that she did well, and if she didn't that she will be corrected and then be allowed to move on and continue to try to grow into a beloved Tuchuk kajira.  there are certain things that this girl will give her little life for, without hesitation, and one is for the life of a Free.

amanda

[Alex]

What the crossing means to me,

As a child, the crossing of the River of Tears was simply helpless. I didnt like it, to sit in a wagon and have a feeling of nothing there was able to do but be there, was intolerable for a child..

As an Unscarred Warrior the ROT was a proving ground, It was a place I foulishly looked forward to so that I could prove further that I belonged, To watch out for the others around me so that I may help my family became a driving point for me. To be able to help in such a time of need and exhaustion.. To learn what it was like to become one with a beast to work with My Mount was exhilarating...

As a Scarred Warrior and the Clan Elder of the Kaiila Clan, the ROT is simply un-nerving. It Is a time where I hope I have Honored My Family and trained all the mounts to the best of My ability.  To hope all the kaiila I have Trained carry there owners and bring them to safety. That is a new feeling, its a feeling of knowing what this ROT can do to a person.. Before I would look to My Uncles and Grandfather, and wonder why they had always gotten so silent, I wondered what was on there minds.. As I grow Older and further My responsibilitys to my familyI know a small amount of what they feel. I feel in the coming seasons it will not get any better.. My only standing on the ROT is that as I cross it more, I feel that the River is a silent Killer that will stop at nothing to rip this Family apart.. and return them to a muddy dust... The River Of Tears simply brings the weight of the Family on the brethren that lead us. I for a young Warrior know a small amount of what this is, but it truly makes me appreciate the people around me, My commanders, by fellow Warriors, the healers.. to all that we do to make sure we can make it across this river of death.. It makes me Appreciate that I am Tuchuk..

[Serinna]

for Me...

the approach to the water alone was stressful, the apprehension building up. I kept wondering if I would loose My grip on the reins as I held them tight. I had done the passage before but this time specifically reminded Me of the night I lost My Father to the storm that claimed His life as We were on the Thassa... The rise and fall due to the debri on the bottom of the river... The holes created by rocks and what ever else was there... The wind that blew through the lands and threatened to topple the wagons over...

The width of the river seemed endless