now I know why I am a dog person!!!
A Dog's Diary
7am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! A treat! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing with my toy! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Daddy 's bed! My favorite!
A Cat's Diary
Day 183 of my captivity....My captors continue to
taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps
me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at
the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair; must try
this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of and to try
to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and commented about
> what a good little
kitty I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement
throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the
food. More importantly I overheard that my
confinement was because of my
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my
advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy
to return. He is
obviously an idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has
got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of
time....
