has taken an odd turn......and I've asked Mum to keep hush hush about it because I've been trying to deal with this.....but now I think I can tell Y/you A/all, and may be in a better mood and more prepared to come back and play Karanis.....
Y/you see...on top of the already busy holy shit schedule I have.....40 hours of work, clearing the land, working on the car, two boys on two different football squads with two different practice and game schedules, and another boy with a music schedule, a new kitten, and all the usual bs that goes with multiple schedules, it seems my health is turning a bit sour, but its fixable....
so ....I havent been Myself for quite a few months now because of all the tests and doctors appointments, more tests, more appointments, more check ups, med changes, hormone therapy, iron therapy, a few more tests, an exploratory surgery, more tests, more playing the hurry up and wait game........
it turns out I need two operations.......but the good news is they both can be done at once....My big bone with the whole things is that I'm only 33 years old....these things arent supposed to be happening till I'm in My 60's or 70's......I have to have a complete hysterectomy.....and a bladder tack....seems My bladder hangs way to low, and they have to reattach it somewhere higher....we're not sure exactly when its going to be yet, but probably within the next few weeks........this on top of starting up school again with the boys and they're schedules....
and one other lil bonus....some know the history with My ex husband, the father of My child, and some dont, to make a long story short, we do NOT get along for more than five minutes at a time, and sometimes even that is pushing it.....and we're supposed to have 50/50 shared custody, well, it hasnt been 50/50 in about 4-6 years give or take.....so I'm taking him to court to have it in black in white what the situation has been like, in other words, me being primary and him having visitation and every other weekend holiday blahblahblah, in other words like 70/30........he WIGGED on Me when I told him we were going to court.....but I got the meanest.....cough cough cough, I mean snakiest, cough cough cough, I mean best lawyer in the state, she cost a pretty penny but its worth it,......but this is stressing me out too because this is another hurry up and wait game.....
and all of you know how much I LOVE to wait for things......screw delayed gratification, I want something done NOW dammit *kinda chuckles*......
so anyway, I didnt want to deal with the pity and the oh Mistress we're so worried you'll be fine how are you how are you feeling blah blah blah stuff....I cant stand it......I realize it would have been nicer to know before now.......but well, I wasnt ready....
let Me work out a few more kinks and work few a more things through, and I'll bring Kar back in.....but the typist Gretchen isnt really in Kar mode, you see where I'm going with this, I need to get to a place where I can still maintain Kar's standards, modes, attitudes etc....and right now, I'm lucky if I remember to eat........
I hate admitting weakness and sickness.....and lack of perfection....so this took alot to put down.......just know that I have the best surgical team, the best doctors, and I'm in good hands, and have a super support neckwork with a very understanding husband ((and Momma LOL, She's staying up here till after the surgery and I can walk the main floor by Myself))....
anyway, I love you guys so much, and do miss you.....
and Rags.....You know Kar loves You more than She loves anything, and loves Her family, and woobie, there's no one that warms toes and gives a Woman hugs when She needs them....
Scott, I'm very sorry to have disappointed You with My lack of being here, and lack of looking at My responsibilities here.....I have just had a lot on My plate, and I'm sorry I've left so much time for You to run things on Your Own.....that lil voice in Your head and in Your ear by the Name of Kar will be back soon....have faith....
I love You guys,
Karanis/Gretchen
