Let the brainwashing begin.
First the manchild must be issued his own football.
Then a recording must be played during each sleep session repeating "FOOTBALL" over and over.
During waking hours repeated playing of the following is recommended;
- Blood makes the grass grow.
- Offense only scores, but DEFENSE scores AND wins games.
- Tackle the ball, not the man.
- Make your opponent pay dearly for every yard they gain.
- If the man you just hit is not blowing snot bubbles, you did not hit him hard enough.
- FUNDIMENTALS FUNDIMENTALS FUNDIMENTALS!!!
- Ball carriers have guts, guts look good in the grass.
- There really is no pain in the endzone.
- Water and salt pills fix most anything.
- And finally, "Play like a Champion"
Playbooks are better than coloring books.
When he reaches age two we can get serious about training. After all... most leagues will accept them at age eight.
And please... no "binkies"... get him a good mouthpiece.
