Where to begin?

[Raziel]

Seems there are a thousand things I wish to say, to do and to apologize for.  I can never have a more true family as I have with my real life and my Tuchuk family.  This is an update on what is going on.

There is a virtual lack of motivation on my part with real life always rearing its head for me.  That real life that rears its ugly head has nothing to do with my family, it usually a dissatisfaction with my job and a sedentary state of my position at work.  Do I believe I am potentially meant for more, well absolutely.  Does my job believe it?  LOL  So therein lies my frustration.  I feel stuck in a rut.

I damaged my knee (complete ACL tear) in late 2018 and attempting to forgo surgery I was waiting for promotional opportunity beginning April of 2019.  I pass my tests and ranked promoteable for the next year.  Well great, then I would have to focus, stay out of trouble and cross my fingers for promotion.  The whole of 2019 has come and gone and no promotion.  Others have been promoted that originally talked about leaving.  That made me wonder if I should have griped and bitched.  Oh well.  The year is nearly up as the official promotion notification is June.  There will be only one more round of promotions to be announced.  Then the pandemic.

I again keep my even keel and sail forward, staying out of trouble, get access to special training etc.  While waiting, I busy myself at home with landscaping and working on my shop.  A few weeks ago, while at home working in the yard, I tore my knee once again.  This time I have two tears.  I have torn my right medial mensicus with a large bucket handle tear and a horizontal tear on the posterior horn.  I also have a grade 1 sprain on the MCL and the retinacula/patellofemoral ligament.  There is thickening of the fibular collateral ligament complex, and tenosynovitis of the popliteus tendon.  There is a small bakers cyst on the gastrocnemius/semimembranous bursa.  Several small joint effusions and bursitis throughout.  And finally an edema around the iliotibial band.

In other words, I finally fucked it up.  Any repair will require surgery.  I have to wait til July for an Orthopedic consult.

This means Im definitely not promoteable and will be out of commission from 6 mos to a year.

My mutant healing factor has finally given out.  The rest will be just pure stubbornness.

Raz

[RAGNAR]

This is just the beginning stages of mutation True... there are more to come.

Just hang in there. Now you begin to understand burnout in that occupational field.

Now is as good a time as any to heal. Do so.

[Izee]

...I am sure that you are outstanding in that difficult profession, Raziel.  I deposed MANY police officers as part of my job, and they told me tales, afterwards, of what being an Officer was like.  A few would ask me to go out for a drink, after the deposition, and they would take me to a "Cop Bar"... ...it was nice.  They would tell me more about the case, and what they knew about the other attorney.  I kept what they told me to myself...they knew that...and trusted me.  Police officers would send me clients who had been involved in auto accidents, and I made some money.    

...I will include you in my nightly prayers, Raziel, heal...and move on.  Life is not predictable.  Mine has taken so many unusual turns...I think that God may be wanting me to experience aspects of "Life" that I would not have selected...but I learned, and became wiser, and stronger, over them. 

...Be well

[Jamiila]

well I hope you get to feeling much better very soon...You do not know Jamila.. as of yet.. but you Know me...we have met 3 times at gathering... (weg)  shivers as the ice cold water goes down my back lol.. any way I will be praying for you...Be careful....... love you.

[siren]

I'm sorry you're having so much trouble, and i'm sure, are in a lot of pain. The main thing to focus on right now is healing. Take the time to get what you need done, and take care of yourself, no matter how long it takes.  Everything else should be secondary, because unless You heal fully, You'll never be able to take care of everything else that needs it.  You will be in my prayers, take care of yourself and don't let this get you down in any way.

[Hartlyn]

Best wishes with surgery, rehab, and recovery.

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

*gets out my medical dictionary to try to make some sense out of all those big words* You made hamburger out of your knee,eh? Just because I am so nice and all and you love me with everything but your heart, I will kick you in the other shin so you can still feel my love. *G*
I was gonna try to find a super soaker that would shoot 50 feet, but now that gathering is canceled due to all the state parks being closed indefinitely, I will not have the opportunity to attack you unsuspecting in the water from a safe distance until next year.

This will give you great chances at getting the surgery and getting all fixed up for next year. I hope it all goes well and I understand too well the job frustration because I get it too, but no one will give me a gun. I will keep you in my nightly chats with God.

love, woobie

[psyche {Raz}]

You are too strong and too stubborn to let anything keep you down.  I love you babe.