well, there are a lot of ways I could answer this..........as Gretchen, the rt woman, my early twenties to mid twenties were spent......lying to everyone including myself......clubbing, partying, dancing all night long, I loved the MTV life, and had beautiful friends around me, beautiful powerful friends, both male and female........I had what I wanted when I wanted it at no known thought to whomever it would affect.....the selfish and self deceiving lies I told went inward and created a monster of such bitter remorse, snarling beast of non-committal the world owes me everything simply because I'm me...it was all about me until I met someone that reversed that, got passed all that mess and manipulated me one step further.........the pain I cant describe....the humiliation I cant describe..........but in the end......I dealt him his most painful blow......I aborted his child that he did not know about, and I told him I would have nothing to do with him for the rest of his life...and no, he never found out........a bad end to a bad beginning...........but what I learned from that...........what I pulled away from that after the fall......was to pull myself back around, and I have the ability to never be manipulated from that again, nor by any one else's hands..........I have the hands of my husband rt, but he by no means controls them, he is my match in all things, deep and not so deep, I simply had to stop the prancing, the games, the manipulations, and I found the purest love of all...............patience with beauty...........I see the world so much differently now..........its beautiful, its lucid, I do what I want when I want how I want it when I want it.............it's simple, and I have a strong man to watch me, and give me that patient grin when I've gone too far...........a true Odin made match I have ladies...................and the key.....is to let the lies you tell yourself mold you for a while...........see how the mold fits...........if feels uncomfortable, change the mode and see why you're lying to begin with...........because if you go in the right way to start the process, you will come out with a healthy realization that you can do whatever you want to do...............you just have to find a way to do it................so aye, these lil self lies are a necessary motivator for my sisters to get what they want as long as they make the right choices along the way, for the wrong choices will simply end them up being dead......................cheers! Kar
