I know I've been gone a lot. Most of the time. It's been... hectic here. And I am sorry for not being around more.
Two deaths in the family, in a relatively short time. One at least a little expected. One that blindside us. That was the harder one. It's still surreal. And it's made me take a step back and think.
I've worked in the EMS services for 18 years now and I know how quickly one can die or even a life changing injury. But, you never think it can be one of yours. Until the time that it is and it hits you like a 2x4.
Add to all of that, I've recently discovered.... I'm getting old. My daughter, just graduated High School and in August will be going to college! And while she is looking forward to it, I'm torn. So I am trying to spend more....quality.. time with her when she's not busy running all over the place.
In discovering that I am old, I've discovered that my parents are older than I want to admit. The deaths of people in the family, really really drove that home. So I keep looking at them and wondering how long til I have to say goodbye. Wondering why it's taken me so long to want to spend more time with them, thinking back to remember stories and realizing that I didn't pay as much attention as I should have. Wanting to correct that while I can.
Work.... is hell. The longer I stay in it, the worse I hate it. So I am actively looking for another job. But it's hard to get out of this field when that is most of what you've done your life. So a lot of my time is looking. Add in the fact that my looking is online and not in this area.. it makes a large bit of difference.
For those of you who do not know me well, I live in Southeastern Kentucky. This place, this area has been hit very very hard by the economy and the coal jobs closing. So many places for sale, so many businesses gone, so many people leaving, so very few jobs here that offer anything over min wage. The older I get, the more I know I can't stay here. There is no future here.
For my family here, I have not forgotten you. I love you all. I just am trying to get my life, my rt life, straight to the point that I am not stressed, to the point that I feel comfortable in doing something that isn't family or job oriented. Trying to catch up on rest. Trying to catch up and spend time with a daughter that I will go from seeing every day to maybe once a month.. although according to her, it'll be once every 3 months.
Until August, at the earliest, depending on work and job hunting, I will not be around. My daughter leaves then and I'll have a little more time, even if I am a bundle of nerves that she is far away and not at home. The time, will depend on job hunting. I tend to get distracted when I look and follow link that read "You might be interested in"..... and I know if I get distracted, I forget about anything else going on. The Home deserves more than that.
I love you all and you are in good thoughts and prayers. I miss you all more than you know. Please don't forget about me and keep me in thoughts as well.
I will be back, you are not going to get rid of me that easily.
The player behind Mercilayne.
