...Just so everyone knows that I, too, have my 'moments' when playing the cello...
..."Performance" on a cello is very unpredictable. It is a difficult and cranky instrument, and the human body is not a machine. The body sometimes just doesn't want to do what we want it to, at times, and the cello can decide..."I don't like the humidity in here...I am going to let my C-string relax...and bend my neck a bit...and after I have been under those hot stage lights for a while...I am going let other things go." (The cello is just a very cranky and delicate piece of lumber. I always enter the stage early before a concert, and pretend that I am practicing, but I am just getting the instrument to adjust to the stage. That is, also, why you see the basses laying on their sides on the stage before a concert, their players leave them on the stage to warm up) That is also why, sometimes, a cellist will check the tuning between movements.
...I was once accompanying a singer in a short work during a recital where there were several performers. I thought I was going to do well, but I had walked across campus in a cold windstorm, in 3 1/2" heels, my cello strapped to my back, music clutched in my arms, and had almost slipped and fallen twice. But, I arrived early, and cleaned up my hair, freshened my makeup, and let my cello out of his case so he could warm up.
I went below the stage before the concert, and practiced my part...twice...and all seemed well...until THE G/D CONCERT!!!!
...I still have no idea why it happened...I had not partaken of any mind-altering substances...and felt focused...but I REALLY SUCKED!!!
I kept hitting out of tune notes. The singer, a very handsome Bass/Baritone, sang louder to drown me out...I kept trying to focus...playing louder...he sang louder...and I played louder...until he gave me a very "subtle" hand gesture to draw back...I did...but my playing didn't get any better.
...I quickly slunk off the stage...I can do a very expressive 'slunk'...(I can also do a very nice and expressive 'slink' when I am in the mood...
)...and came face to face with the cellist who was my stand partner, and who thought he should be section leader. He grinned at me, and said, "Interesting piece, I didn't know that that Composer was experimenting with 12-tone harmony."
...Another musician quickly stepped between us...I was ready to go 'verbal panther' on my stand partner, and I was raising my bow...and the musician pushed my stand partner aside...and pushed me further into the wings...and so I just continued my 'slunk' into the wings, packed up my cello...and left...'slunking' my way back to my Apt...in the windstorm...which turned into a thunderstorm when I was almost back...and so I ran so that my cello case wouldn't get too wet.
...I opened a 1/2 bottle of wine when I got back, and sat on my bed, and drank a little while thinking. "..."P", 10% of the time, you astonish yourself when you perform, everything is SO PERFECT... 80% of the time, you do OK, you think of passages you could have done better, or a few notes you missed, but it was OK...and the OTHER 10%...well...just forget them!!!"
...I went ahead and told my roommates to stay out of the bathroom, and brought the bottle into the bathtub with me, drank it while soaking for a long time, and then went to bed.