...Izee's Thread

[Izee]

...Big Sandwiches...

...I was an Advisor to the 4-H Group when I was a bit younger, and the District 4-H Director liked me.  He got me to assist with the County Fair, and I enjoyed it.     I would coach the Ambassador Team, and just help out.  I would wander around the Poultry Barn, and help keep the birds watered, and fed...and get hauled out because I was sneezing...I am allergic to birds.   

...I would watch over the Ambassador Team, and coach them, and make sure that they ate and got some sleep.

...One morning, I stopped by a Deli, and ordered a sandwich.  I said that I needed a big one, since I needed to feed a bunch of  kids.  The Owner, just nodded...He was a client of mine...I had gotten Him out of a huge business problem...and He said..."Come back at 11:00"  (He was Armenian)  I handed over $40 and left.

...I returned, and He took me into the back room...and there was laying...a sub sandwich that was 5' LONG!!!!  Stuffed with meats, cheeses, and other things!!!  I stared at it, and said..."Not sure I can get it in my car."  He laughed, and cut it into four pieces, wrapped it up, and packed it into a bag.  I hugged Him, and left.

...I was chuckling to myself as I re-assembled the sandwich, and set a large knife on the table so the kids could carve off slices.  They were happy, they ate most of it...but there was about 6" left.

...As I was packing things up, I saw two young, Mexican kids standing, looking at at me.  I called out, "Quero comer?"  They smiled, and came to me, and I cut the rest of the sandwich in half, and handed it to them, so they each got a nice lunch.

...Part of me was thinking, as I left the Fairgrounds..."That would have made a nice dinner"...but...I was happy to have fed two children.   

[MageNathaniel1]

I have seen subs like thar. I recall seeing a video of someone with a 6 ft sub trying to fit it into a 5 ft car lol

[RAGNAR]

But the feeling you received from sharing felt much better than a full belly!!!!!

[Izee]

...The 'Baby BAR'...   Another one of my "Finer Moments' in Life...

...I went to Law School at night, I was working as an Accountant, and my H just couldn't hold down a job.  He was waiting tables, and working at the bar at the little pub.  Those were fascinating years, my Manic/Depressive Illness made it even more interesting.  Because I wasn't attending a daily Law School, I had to take a State test after my first year to see if I was 'worthy' to keep studying Law.  We called the test the 'Baby Bar' since it just lasted one day.  I took a Review Course, to learn how to properly answer questions...and...

...I WAS FEELING VERY CONFIDENT!!!!   

...My Naval Aviator friend drove us to the testing site...and I was full of energy...I just knew that I would 'ACE THE TEST'.  Problem was...I forgot about 'Time Management'.  There were four situations to analyze, and then write out an opinion...and the test lasted for four hours.  I was fascinated at the first two situations, and thought about them, and wrote out a long analysis.  I then got to the last two situations...and...

...I ONLY HAD 90 MINUTES LEFT!!!!!   

...I panicked...and quickly started writing.  I had about 20 minutes left for the last one...and I was sweating like a pig...and my mind was racing all over...if I didn't pass the Baby BAR...I would have to repeat the 1st year!!!!  I would actually lay my head down on the table, and breath carefully...sweating very heavily...and then lift my head...and shakely write out my analysis of the issues. 

...The Test finished...and I could barely walk as I handed in my papers...and then collapsed on a bench.  A couple women came up to me, asking..."Are you OK?"  I just waved them away.  My Naval Aviator friend almost carried me to His car, and drove me home.  I had to get Him to pull over, a couple times, so I could open the passenger door, and throw up!!!!

...I was very depressed the following weeks...until I got my score....

...IT WAS A 'B'...only 37 'B" s were awarded...out of several hundred being tested!!!   

...The next year, at Law School, people were amazed that I got a 'B'...usually only students that had attended more well known Schools got over a 'C'.  I told them...

..."I think I could have gotten an 'A'...but...

..."I PASSED OUT HALFWAY THROUGH"

...My Naval Aviator friend would nod, and say..."I was sitting beside her..."

..."I had to revive her with 'mouth to mouth'."

...I would laugh, and say..."I was just trying to get you to kiss me...it WORKED!!!"   

[MageNathaniel1]

lol

[Izee]

But the feeling you received from sharing felt much better than a full belly!!!!!

...That is so true, Brother.  I had food at home, and certainly could have stopped somewhere.

...I was happy as I drove home...the smile on their faces as I handed them the sandwich...was...well

...PRICELESS!!!   

[Izee]

...Foghorn Leghorn...

...*S*  He is one of my most favorite cartoon characters.  I have a 'cel' of him, I bought it at a 'Con'.

...When I was raising chickens, I wasn't always very selective.  I would keep the few, expensive bantams in a fenced off area in the coop...but just let the others loose in the coop.  We would eat the eggs...and...*Shrugs*...sometimes eat a chicken.  Plucking one of those things is NOT FUN...but a fresh chicken tasted very good for dinner.

...There was a young cock growing up...and I was astounded at his coloring...I mean...

...HE LOOKED LIKE FOGHORN LEGHORN!!!!   

...I named him that, and watched over him, making sure that he was eating.  He grew up, and would crow, and beat up the other cocks...he was HUGE...he was obviously a Leghorn...but I couldn't figure out which hen had added her mix.

...I entered him into the County Fair...I was one of the Organizers...and put him in a cage...and labeled it....as his species...

..."Foghorn Leghorn"...

...I got called aside by the District 4-H Director...and got scolded...   He said, "We are trying to raise the youth to study hard, and not make fun of agricultural sciences."  I just nodded, and pretended to get a little tearful in front of him.

...But...I was laughing my ass off as I drove home.

..."Foghorn Leghorn" got a nice Red Ribbon.

...We didn't eat him...he had a nice life.

[RAGNAR]

Which proves, if a guy looks good and is a big cock, he's got it made!!!!!

 

[Izee]

...Why Teenagers should NOT be allowed to have Chemistry Kits...

...I was fascinated by Science when I was growing up...then my Mental Illness kicked in...and I became a CPA and an Attorney.     I had a nice microscope, telescope, and other things...but...I WAS FASCINATED WITH CHEMISTRY!!!  I was the TA to the Chemistry Teacher in HS...and did some interesting experiments.     Once, She had something going on, and I taught the class about Isotopes...and a number of students said that they learned more from me during that lesson than they had learned from Her.   

...(Probably cause I was cuter than Her)

...I built up my own chemistry lab in our garage, and stocked it with glassware, and all kinds of chemicals.  My Parents saw what I was doing, and bought me a fire extinguisher, and ORDERED me to not do anything dangerous...and...of course...

...I DIDN'T LISTEN!!!!

...One afternoon, I was trying to distil some crude oil...

...I had gotten the octane out, and a few other lighter elements, and was adjusting the flask, planning on getting to the gasoline...and the flask EXPLODED!!!!

...Good thing that I was wearing gloves, and a face mask...but my dress caught on fire...so I grabbed the extinguisher, and put myself out, and then put out the fire on my 'Lab'. 

...My Father was home, and quickly came in...looked over the scene...and said...

..."I am shutting down your 'Lab'...

...I nodded, and went into the bathroom.  I just had a few 1st degree burns...

...The 'Lab' was gone the next day.

[RAGNAR]

I just enjoyed explosives.

[MageNathaniel1]

ah fun remembers my 1st chem set  and making half the school smell like bananas one day lol

[Izee]

...One of my Best Friends also had a home lab.  He was smarter than me in certain ways...He earned the awards for Mathematics every year...but I was better at Biology and Chemistry.  We were about equal in programming computers...but then...I decided to become a musician...and I was left behind in his dust in the Science Courses.  We both did chemistry experiments at home, and he got far ahead of me.  Sometimes, I would just go to his lab, and we would do an experiment together.

...WE BLEW UP HIS LAB...ONCE!!!!   

...I can't remember exactly what we were trying to make...but it started with us heating up a bar of metal sodium in a pure oxygen atmosphere.  When we went into Berkeley, and to a chemical supply company, and bought it...the Owner showed us that it was in a can of some kind of oil, and told us..."Keep it in the oil...it can be explosive."  We just smiled, and nodded.

...We did rig up a container, and put the bunsen burner in it, and got a jug of oxygen going...and then used forceps to hold the sodium over it...and it started to melt...and...

...IT EXPLODED!!!!!

...We quickly put out the fire, and gathered the fragments, and put them back into the oil.

...In class, the Teacher asked if anyone had had a good weekend...and we both stood up...and recited...

..."We learned that..."

..."THOU SHALT NOT HEAT METAL SODIUM IN A PURE OXYGEN ATMOSPHERE"

...He just stared at us for a moment, and asked...

..."Is the house still standing?"

...I looked around, doing my best to look confused...and said...

..."I dunno...I jus woke up 'bought 45 minutes ago"

[MageNathaniel1]

yes, sodium and oxygen do not mix lol.  I was more dangerous with computers than chemistry other than as said, making the school smell like banans. I found a way to cause a firmware based operating system to crash freaking out my computer science teacher. Though all my science teachers seem to fear me lol.

[RAGNAR]

I just relocated large sections of real estate from point a to all over all other points.

Booytraps add a whole new chapter to spreading out real estate... among other things.

[Izee]

...White Teeth...

...Watching all of the young women announcing the Election Results...I started focusing on their teeth...while I was imbibing some 'spirits'.     Their teeth were SO WHITE!!!!  I started laughing, recalling a memory. 

...I was waiting to depose a Dentist, and I was amazed at the teeth of the receptionist and assistant...

...I swear...they were 'glowing white'...I had never seen anything like their teeth.   

...I got through the deposition questions I needed, and then began asking about 'teeth whitening'.  (I would often do that during a deposition, asking the Expert questions on issues that didn't relate to the case at hand...my questions would usually relate to another case I had, or I would take the opportunity to educate myself).  He explained how it was done, and then shrugged, and said, "Look at Sarah, my receptionist...She wants to have really white teeth."  He then grinned, and said, "I could do a lot for your teeth."

...I smiled...showing my slightly discolored teeth...I drank a lot of coffee...and said...

..."I will get back to you."   And left...

...I sat in my car for a moment, and laughed.  I was thinking that if aliens landed on Earth, and saw all of the young women...with their WHITE TEETH smiling at them...they would jump back into their saucers...and take off...and leave us alone.  We humans see teeth as being normal...and beautiful...that is why we women part our lips when we smile...our faces look prettier when we are showing our teeth.  But, an alien with a sucker for a mouth...would get scared.