a little laugh :-)

[RAGNAR]

LMTAO @ all of these!!!

[just me]

just a few thought i had swimmin around


Why, Why, Why
 
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[RAGNAR]

LMTAO

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

*looks around, then counts*.. yep.. it's me.. LMAO!!

oh yeah, I wonder about those things too...

[Shadow duck]

hmmm lookin to her friends.. and recountin.. nope all three of them are nuts too sooo i must be the sane one.. hehehehehehe.. (( but if you ask them i'm nuts too.lol))

huggles these are all soo cute.. and as to the 80s yeppers i remmeber some of them my kids drove me nuts with these but sat mornin cartoons you bet i was up before they were to watch em.. lol

[just me]

Answers to Why God made Moms ,
given by 2nd grade school children



Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out o f there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats alot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller &stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back of her head

 

[Amber]

http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=186

MIDGET DANCE!! -ish a midget, it's not meant to harm midgets or be derogatory- I love midget dancing!

[Kitya]

http://www.risingstarkaraoke.com/monday_test.html

I got all of em.. *proud look*

[Taryn]

   Your Score: 10 out of 11
      Your Rating: Wow! Come to work for us!

       Now Here's the Twist;
      Your answers not only can tell your current intelligence,
      but the combination can also forcast your upcoming love life:

      Your Projected Love Life: Your love life is mediocre

[Faramir]

  Your Score: 7 out of 11
      Your Rating: Normal Intelligence

       Now Here's the Twist;
      Your answers not only can tell your current intelligence,
      but the combination can also forcast your upcoming love life:

      Your Projected Love Life: Wow! Your love life is bitchin

If that ain't a crock

JEB

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

*got 11 out of 11*

my love life might bloom soon..

*laughs*

[Shadow duck]

You are the Christmas Star.



just a little slowwwwwwwwwww.... *grins*


(((woobie please can you fix this for me please please please)))


done, my sweets.. *hugs* woobie

[kadi{MTC}]

What Christmas Ornament are you?


You are the Christmas Dove.






fixed yours too,sweetie.. *hugs* woobie

[Yahira]

Women Over 30

A very smart man recently said: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it!   She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Here's an update for you. A recent survey showed 80% of women are against marriage.

Why?   Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

[Amber]

-bought the entire pig...twice now..first time.it was for just a little sausage...this time..well.... just grins-