a little laugh :-)

[Thalia]

Now, it's for a BIG sausage.

*runs*

[Kitya]

*dies laffing and high 5's dee* Hmm.. I bought the entire pig... but I still get all the sausages I want... what does THAT tell ya! *LOL*

[Yahira]

I haven't bought the pig yet..  but sausage is in great supply..   

[Yahira]

[Yahira]

http://www.funnyinside.com/DeepThroat.shtml

[Yahira]

Orgasm Simulator

[Claudia]

A man in England calls his son in the USA two days before Christmas and says," I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Canada and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this!"
She calls England immediately and screams at her father, "You are not getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there!  I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there by tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife." Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."


 

[Yahira]

The Female Language

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has when she wants to cut you, slice you and cover you with hot bacon grease. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare so don't be an idiot. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows)
This means, "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't give a d*&#. You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot, moron or troll at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here with your sorry ass, and arguing with you over "Nothing."

Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not to move, flinch or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that", or: "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Run far, run fast and NEVER EVER look back. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your PC, DVD player and big screen TV out the 11th floor window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a big ol' greasy lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and the statement "Go ahead", all followed by unspeakable acts so hideous they are unprintable.

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before implementing payback. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. "That's okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you'd better be ready. You're gonna look like a Section 8 eviction, shit all out on the curb. Check your mirrors for the next 6 months. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to dig the hole you're in even deeper as you try to come up with an excuse or reason for doing whatever it is you have done. You have a chance to tell the truth ... but don't. Lie like a rug and stick to it like Velcro. STICK TO THE LIE!!! But be careful you don't get a "That's okay". If you do, stick and move baby, stick and move. Skillets and pots will be flyin.

Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint or pee yourself; just say you're welcome and don't move the rest of the day.

Thanks a Lot
This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks a Lot" when she is really about to "catch a case". It's 'bout to be on, up in here. It signifies that you have hurt her in some cold, callous way. She will probably call her 4 brothers to come over and mop the street with your brains. These words are usually followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

You did WHAT?
This means she found out about that hoochie across town and you'd better crawl out the window and creep up the sidewalk like a cat. She's about to get her piece, so step ... and step hard. Forget your car, just run and hide. You can come back and get your ride. If "You did WHAT?" is followed by "you bastard", hit the floor immediately, cause she's about to set the chamber on that 9 that she keeps under the pillow.

[Taryn]

 
A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

[Taryn]

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

[Taryn]

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Iowa, and I'm driving the damn SALT TRUCK!"

[Sidona]

this is a lot of fun 

http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/index.html

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

Mistress Yaya, you forgot Never Mind, I'll get it

That means the man has forgotten to take care of some nasty little task and she is tired of waiting for it. It will be paid back with Nothing, Fine and That's Okay...


LMAO~

[Yahira]

~Whispers~  woobie...  We can also add:

Nevermind.  It's not important.
Of course, meaning that the only thought in her head at that moment is his slow and painful death.  This will end up in one of the arguments that last "five minutes" and will end with the word "fine"

You think so?
This means that you are an idiot.  There's no two ways about it here.  You have your head shoved so far up your ass that it will take a team of surgeons to remove it for you.  This will end with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" and probably end with you in a body cast.

[Shadow duck]

*makin notes and wondering if she can get away sayin any of these to a Master*.. grins an bounces off quick...