a little laugh :-)

[MageNathaniel1]

tommy's 3rd grade teacher is trying to teach the class about tense in language she says timmy if I say I am beautiful, what tense is that, Tommy looks at her and says well, given how you look, it must be past tense off hand maybe 30 years past.

[RAGNAR]

And they buried Tommy the next day. BUT... I still like his style. *G*

[MageNathaniel1]

the teacher hear little timmy swear while he was on the playground, she calls him aside and says I do not ever want to hear you say that word again where did you even hear it, he says from my father she says well since you do not know what it means do not use it, he says oh but I do know what it means, she says what does it mean yhen with a shicked look on her face, he says well, when my father says it, it means the car wont start, when I say it, it means you will want to talk to me

[RAGNAR]

LOL And Timmy's Father buried the teacher the day after parent teacher conference.

[MageNathaniel1]

my wife just ran iff with my best friend Mike yesterday   Since when is Mike yiur best friend    Since yesterday.

[RAGNAR]

Heh heh heh...

Bury Mike and your ex tomorrow.

[MageNathaniel1]

little timmy comes home from church with a black eye, his father says didnt I tell you no fighting with the boys at church. Timmy says I wasnt fighting and it wasnt my fault. we were praying, I noticed the sinday school teacher's dress was in her butt crack so I pulled it out, she turned around and hit me. His father says women do not like whem boys do such things, next time leave it as is.  The next sunday, timmy comes home with another black eye, his father says now what did I tell you abiut fighting. timmy says I did not fight and it wasnt my fault, we were praying like last week, when Louis, who was next to me saw that the teachers skirt was in her butt craklck and pulled it out but after what you told me last week, I knew she did not like that so I put it back where it was , that is when she hit me.

[RAGNAR]

See... no matter what, a guy just can't win.

Bury the Sunday school teacher, and make sure to ram the shovel up the crack of her ass where she will always have it.

[MageNathaniel1]

little Timmy's older brother got married but they did not have the money for a honeymoon so they went to the fanily home for their wedding night. The next morning Timmy gets up, has his breakfast and asks his mother if his brother and his new bride are up yet. His mother says no. Timmy says want to know what I think? His mother says no, now go outside to play, I will call you in for lunch later. Around noon, his mother calls him in, he has lunch and asks if his brother and the bride are up yet. His mother says no. He says want to know what I think, she says no, no go back outside and play, I will call you in for dinner. She calls him in for dinner that evening, he eats and asks if his brother and the bride are up yet. She says no. He says want to know what I think? She saus ok, what do you think? He says when my brother asked me for the vaseline, I think I accidentally gave him a tube of my airplane model glue. She fainted.

[RAGNAR]

They buried Timmy, his older brother, his wife, and Mother the next day.

The Father took off for parts unknown.

[MageNathaniel1]

timmys teacher asks him if there are 5 birds on a wire and someone shoots one with a rifle, how many are left? timmy says none because the sound of the rifle would scare the remaining ones away. The teacher says while I like the way you think, the correct answer is 4. Timmy says can I ask a question? The teacher, knowing timmy, rlictsntly agrees and say ok. Timmy says 3 women are at an ice cream shop, 1 is licking her ice cream cone, 1 is biting it, and 1 is sucking it, which one is married. The teacher sighs and says I guess the one that is sucking it.  Timmy says no, the 1 with the wedding ring but I like the way you think.

[RAGNAR]

Timmy graduated early!!! 

[MageNathaniel1]

little timmy goes with his father to  horse auction. he watches as his father looks closely at each horse, runs his jands along the legs of the horse touches its rump and chest as he evaluates them. timmy asks his father why he keeps doing that. his father says because I am wanting to buy a horse. timmy looks worried. his father asks what is wrong timmy says I think the postman wants to buy mom.

[RAGNAR]

They buried the Postman the next day.

[MageNathaniel1]

timmy's teacher is having the students tell a family story that has a moral to it. Everyone else has gone except timmy. Reluctantly the teacher calls on timmy to recite his family tale. He stands and says, my uncle was in the persian gulf war. His plane was shot down so he had to parachute out taking a case of beer, a machine gun, and a machette with him. On the way down, he drank the entire case of beer. When he landed, he was immediately surrounded by 100 Taliban fighters. He killed 70 of them with the machine gun and the last 30 with the machette. The teacher says what possible moral could there be to this story? Timmy says, never mess with my uncle when he has been drinking.  The teacher fainted