a little laugh :-)

[MageNathaniel1]

Sean just got a new smart phone. He is demonstrating it to chauncy and says it can answer any question, watch. He then asks the phone when was the last time chauncy bought a round at the pub, the phone responded with no data available for chauncy buying a round.

[RickBulow74]

#BsdJoke323

Q: Why did the pharmaceutical cross the road?
A: To get to the other side-effect.

[RickBulow74]

#Badjoke324

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A: One is very heavy; the other's a little lighter.

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke325

Q: How many sheep does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, two, three, four, five, good night.

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke326

Q: What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
A: Anything you want. It can't hear you!

[MageNathaniel1]

Chauncy's mother in law arrives late for a night out with her daughter. She apologizes and says she just spent two hours at the beauty parlour. Chauncy's wife asks what could they do that took that long. Chauncy says it would take that long just to evaluate if they can help her or not and how many weeks it will take.

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke327

Q: What do you call an argument between egg-laying mammals?
A: A platypus spatypus!

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke328

Q: Why does Hamlet take so long in the bathroom?
A: He can't decide: to pee, or not to pee.

[MageNathaniel1]

Chauncy tells the bar keep he is worried about sean going to London for the weekend. The keep says why, afraid he will get hurt or mugged? Chauncy says its not that, but things in London are so expensive, I fear he will not have enough to buy my pints when he returns.

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke329

Q: Why did the swimmer throw all his gear into the water?
A: His accountant told him to pool his resources!

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke330

Q: What keeps a sheep up at night?
A: A velcro fence.

[MageNathaniel1]

The barkeep notices a bandage on chauncy's finger and asks what happened. Chauncy says I was minding my own business, picking up some money when my wife suddenly snapped her purse shut my hand still inside.

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke331

Q: Why did the crowd boo the high diver?
A: His performance was a flop.

[RickBulow74]

#BadJoke332

Q: What's the tastiest part of a squirrel's house?
A: The wall-nuts!

[MageNathaniel1]

Chauncy, his wife, and sean are at the track. Sean is bragging about how clearly his new binoculars let him see the finish line. He then says but for some reason, I cannot see your horse approaching it. Chauncy's wife says try looking by the start line as it hasnt moved since the race started.