Been quite a rough morning today. Been up since four am, because my grandfather passed away early this morning. I guess I'm partly still in shock, but also somewhat mad at myself because I wasn't feeling up to going to visit him again last night, putting it off until tomorrow, only to be woken up and shown the mistake I had made.
I want to thank those of you who kept him and my family in your thoughts and prayers, it means the world to me.
My condolences True.
Grieve as you need to, but hold no guilt against yourself. Things happen in their own time. Your Grandfather is no longer in pain. He is in good company and is being well cared for. In a way, perhaps it was for the best you did not see him last night. When you left the night before there was an air of goodness left behind. One of comfort and not of impending doom. That "One more day" feeling. Not the feeling of "This may be it" finality.
I am sure he knew how you loved and felt about him, and I am sure you know how he felt for you. THIS is what you can hold onto. THIS is what you SHOULD hold onto, not a bad feeling of guilt or shame. All is now well with him.
Sometimes I think our loved ones hold onto our feelings before they depart. They know we love them and will miss them. They know we feel a loss that cannot be put into words. But do not hold onto a feeling of "unfinished business or guilt". Instead hold onto a feeling of quiet peace. Allow them to feel this peace. Then have earned it. You have earned it through your love and experiences with your Grandfather.
I know nothing I can say or do to make this easier for you my True... but I hope in some small way I have given you something to reflect on. Remember the time you had together and be thankful for it. Remember his life.... how he lived.... not how he died.
In this you do him true Honor.
