Quierra passed away peacefully on February 27th among friends and family.
We watched as she closed her eyes for what was to be her final slumber, drifting off in her sleep to a plane without suffering.
There are those of you who knew that she was battling breast cancer. Some she knew felt she had made the "wrong" choice by turning from conventional medical intervention (i.e., chemo).
What Quierra did not reveal however, was that not only was this her second battle with breast cancer, but that she had been diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer in early 2005. It was this diagnosis, coupled with the prognosis that she would not be around to see 2006, which lead her to seek alternative medicine.
Quierra taught me what living truly meant.
Quierra was a beautiful person who cared not to waste her time on the what-ifs or what-could-have-beens. Instead, she focused on the celebration of life. In the course of the disease, she did experience those down times, but her self-determination to not give in to her fate quite so readily, I believe were the real factors in her survival far beyond the scope of doctors predictions. She set herself goals to accomplish, some of which were not only demanding, but which would require a good length of time to accomplish, and held that determination she would reach and accomplish each goal before she would allow herself to be taken away from those she loved.
Quierra accomplished every one of those goals she set for herself; from leaping out of an airplane and skydiving for the first time in her life to simply ensuring everyone she loved that they were special and loved.
Quierra is survived by two daughters and five grandchildren. And two god-children (my son and daughter).
Quierra was one like myself, who was caught up in the glorification of being an attorney. At least until realization hits and those who once you fought against, became those you fought for. Practicing for over 20 years in real estate law, Quierra had come to fight for the needy. Moving herself to the neighborhood she often fought those battles for, living among the low-income who struggled to live in a decent place only to be victimized by greedy landlords, Quierra offered her services pro bono and was known to dip into her own funds to help a family in need.
A truly caring person, Quierra was quick to defend her friends if she felt an injustice was being done to them. Such carried over into all facets of her life, from the real world and into the virtual one as well. For this reason, she either made friends; or didn't. There was no shadowy in-between. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind, which got her into trouble a lot, but she was quick to admit to her errors and would ache if she knew she had hurt someone in the process.
I had spent the last couple of weeks of her life there at her side, sharing stories of our friendship that has long passed that 20 year mark. We talked of our spouses and ex's, and laughed about our (mis)adventures of our youth. We compared our scars from way back when we became blood sisters; and Quierra bled so much we ended up petrified at the emergency room while our parents gave us "the look" and we learned that Quierra had a clotting problem that would later come to haunt her. We laughed about our last campout in the great outdoors and despite her broken foot, Quierra attempted to rock climb with us, only to experience a thrilling rock-slide ride right smack into a prickly bush and she grumpily (and happily) sat nursing all the beers while the rest of us returned to rock climbing. We talked about our children; how empty and boring life would have been without them (and then tried to count each other's gray hairs because of our children). We cried together about all those times that just ... hurt.
Quierra had introduced me to Gor way back, and naturally our conversations and recollections included those times as well. We curled up together with her Gorean scrapbook, which I've brought home with me to hold dear. A sadness swept over me during this time, for it made me realize how different the Gorean world in virtuality has become. Some changes were for the good, but there are those that have taken an element away from those "good old days" of the past.
I suppose the saddest thing was watching her through the past few years struggling in Gor after her first master retired from the roleplay due to the health of his wife. Never seeming to end up with the right master, Quierra tended to fall into the hands of those that wanted to go beyond the realm of virtuality into reality and punished her for her unwillingness, or those whom simply should not be a master. I still have to shake my head about Quierra, the Junkyard Dog, how someone could treat another person as she had been treated; especially someone who considers himself a great master. So, Quierra left Gor, but Gor wouldn't leave her in peace, and a slave one day tossed a battery of questions to my cousin about Quierra, was she married to anyone online and had she had therapy because she was dumped by this person the slave was sure Quierra had been married to. Funny how it was that slave's master called my cousin the errant slave. But then, of course, it was not a real surprise to me either.
It was things as this that Quierra couldn't fathom an understanding. I saw a piece of her lost because things like this made her question herself. She had left Gor with a feeling of loss of fulfillment as a slave, a failure, she said to me one day.
I knew that Quierra had kept in touch with her first master and would visit with he and his wife when she could, or call to talk with him, seeking his advice. Words cannot express how happy that I was when he and his wife arrived at her bedside, alerted to her decline by Quierra's daughter and myself. He spent countless hours with her and helped her so many ways; it was awesome to see her find herself again. What a great man he is, and I was pleased to have met him in the real world; I only had known him from the virtual world eons ago when I first started on Gor.
Quierra wished me to express to everyone here on Gor that everyone is special and never let anyone tell you different. And most of all, to be happy.
On her last day in this world, Quierra was surrounded by her children, her grand-children, both of her ex-husbands, myself and my children, my cousin Kelly (fyre, in Gor), her long-time doctor and friend from New York, her long-time boss and friend, her first master and his wife, and a handful of other friends. Quierra left us knowing she wasn't a failure after all.
Quierra's last words to me were, "I love you."
I love you too Quierra.
Danielle / amore {MTC}
