This Tickled me ...

[Gina]

Enjoy this! During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the
 Director how do you determine whether or not a patient
 should be institutionalized.
 
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a
 bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a
 bucket to
The patient and ask him or her to empty the
 bathtub.'
 
  'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.  'A
 normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger
 than the spoon or the teacup.'
 
  'No' said the Director, 'A normal person
would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'
 ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT
 TO MINE ?
 
   
 
 

[Gina]

One Question IQ Test Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you shouldspend the rest of your day......
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.

By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses,how should he express  himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer...                                     

He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of Sunglasses".  If you got this wrong -- please turn off your computer and call it a day.

         I've got mine shutting down right now.

         (You know you missed it too, so shut down your computer)

[Gina]

Click here: YouTube - Wild Women of Whippoorwill

[Gina]

Here it is again.  Hilarious, wild women of Whippoorwill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt9lErsLafw

[Gina]

 A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day Amen!"

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was already 1P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and
Snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed.

At 9 P.M ..

He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected

To make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.
Amen!"

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night"

This has been voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year!
If you agree, send it to all your friends who would enjoy this.

[PeterFitzwell]

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And that my friends began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

[Gina]

After you read this, close your eyes and try to imagine this.  Too funny


A young woman went to and evening class to improve her sexual capabilities.  When she gets there, she sees an apple, an orange and a pear hanging on strings from the ceiling, and a piece of chalk and a
black-board. "What is all this for?" she asked.
The instructor tells her to stand between the hanging fruit, and she does. "Now," said the instructor, "swing your hips to the left and touch the apple, now swing your hips to the right and touch the pear, then swing your hips forward and touch the orange."  The young woman starts to rotate her hips, and soon gets a good rhythm going. "This is great," she said enthusiastically, "but what is the chalk for?"
"When you've got the hang of the fruit," said the instructor, "I want you to stick the chalk up your ass and write 'Mississippi' on the
black-board twenty times."

[Easy]

http://www.jibjab.com/originals/farting_elves_12_days_of_christmas

[PeterFitzwell]

[PeterFitzwell]

[PeterFitzwell]

[~Meg~]

*laughing*

Cute one Peter..LOL

[Easy]

grins...it was huh Megs

[Hippie]

DUI Test
 

A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles
south of the Michigan/Indiana State line. When the trooper asked the driver
why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and
was on his way to Ft. Wayne, IN to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He
Didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and asked
if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give
him a ticket.He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and

didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he

could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got

5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.


While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car.
A drunken good old boy from Michigan got out, watched the
Performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door

and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car,

opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.


The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause
there ain't no way I can pass that test."

[~Meg~]

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!"He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars."So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a Business Trip, but learned from a friend he had ran off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."

(Are women good or what?)