This Tickled me ...

[~Meg~]

Yup..He sure did..And I think he is dreaming now..Thinking that they would pay him...Yeah..Right..Don't know who he thinks he is kidding..But, It's sure not us..right???..LOL

[Easy]

WINTER BLONDE(brunette)
 
As a  trucker stops for a red light, a brunette catches up. She jumps out of her  car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the  door.
 
The trucker lowers the window, and she says  'Hi, my name is Meg and you are losing some of your  load.'
 
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the  street.
 
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl  catches up again.
 
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on  the door.
 
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if  they've never spoken, the brunette says brightly, 'Hi my name is Meg,  and you are losing some of your load!
 
Shaking his head, the  trucker ignores her again and continues down  the street.
 
At the third red light, the same thing  happens again. 

All out of breath, the brunette gets out of her car, runs up,  knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she  says 'Hi, my name is Meg, and you are losing some of your  load!'

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races  to the next light.
 
When he stops this time, he  hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the cute brunette.
 
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he  says...
 
'Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Ohio  and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!'

[~Meg~]

Ha Ha Ha...Very Funny..LOL

[~Meg~]

Fills your mouth with ROCK SALT to get you to hush...*laughing*

[Easy]

lol...was ya picking it up for thta poor driver

[~Meg~]

There I went again....Open Mouth..Insert Foot...They are gettin to taste pretty dang good..LOL

[~Meg~]

Gives ya more ROCK SALT...LOL

[~Meg~]

Yeah...Don't think there is enough to fill it...

[Kellie]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.


A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.


'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'


Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'


He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?'


Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir!'


The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely ...


A r e -- m y -- t e s t -- r e s u l t s -- b a c k?"

[Kellie]

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this! 

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.  Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.  Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.  He gives up and goes back to bed.


The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.  The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

[Kellie]

A blonde moment?

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, it s righ t there.' If you're not sure what a 710 is, click the link...

http://www.hotautoweb.com/cogifs/710.jpg

[Kellie]

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil (this is too
cute)!....You don't even have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School .
Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her
rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again
said,"Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn
thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

The nun fainted.

[Easy]

[~Meg~]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"



(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)

"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

[~Meg~]

>> Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
>> Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
>> order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
>> purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
>>
>>
>> Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
>> decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul
>> it home."
>>
>>
>> The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
>> she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
>> less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
>> sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph
>> office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her
>> that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer
>> to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
>>
>>
>> The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
>> adds, it will cost 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull,
>> the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
>> word.
>>
>>
>> After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send
>> her the word "comfortable."
>>
>>
>> The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
>> want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
>> haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
>> "comfortable?"
>>
>>
>> The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read
>> it very slowly.... "com-for-da-bul."