Sorry all. Could not remember my old password, nor do I have that email anymore. But, I felt a need to respond here so strong I had to at least create a new account to do so.
Sis, I have a situation somewhat similar to yours, at least in the end result. I have a child that thinks they hate me, at least for now. Let me explain, if you will give me the patience...
You see, I have 3 children. A boy, the oldest at 24, and two daughters 21 and 17. The older daughter used to give me fits. Hung out with a strange crowd (The Goth kids with 2 pounds of metal in their face, dog collars, and even the boys wear black fingernail polish), and forever getting into trouble. Some of those here may remember a few occasions when I would have to leave camp to look for her as she would run off.
Now, my youngest would always say "I am never gonna do the things that she (the oldest daughter) done". and for the longest time she did not. Actually, she was quite the daddies girl. Then she got herself hooked up with a bad boy about a year and a half ago. You know the type, wants to live the "Thug Life", gangbanger wannabe, pants so low they show a good 6 inches of his underwear. We of course went round and round about this. It got so bad that at one point I had to call 911 to have him removed as he was threatening to hit me with a chain, and had already severely cussed my elderly parents. This all started because I caught him sneaking through her window (stupid kids, they think we are deaf?) Anyway, that kept him away awhile, as the cops informed him one foot on my property meant decent jail time for him.
Now, I must admit this made me happy...for awhile. You see, my daughter came up pregnant at 16. She would constantly run away, and repeatedly reported us to Child Protection Services for abuse of one sort or another, even though each time there was absolutely no evidence. She was just intet on tearing us apart, is all. As much of a shock and hardship that this was (we are poor, and have little monies. In fact we are still fighting collectors over her medical expenses), we still moved forward. Offered to help with the baby as much as we can, and still put her at least the rest of the way through high school. I even went so far as to bury the hatchet with her boy, seeing as I could see no way to keep him away, and he did seem interested in caring for the baby. Well, as long as it did not cost him anything anyway....
I'll try and shorten this. Longwindedness is a fault of mine, as many of you know. Baby was born, and lived here. We did everything we could, and things were not to bad considering. Well, so I thought. Wife calls me bawling. Seems daughter and boyfriend had been bullying my wife into doing what they wanted behind my back. I gave the girl a choice...stay and we will continue to help, but there are rules, or go..her choice. Well, she left. She tells everyone I threw her out, which I did not. Refuses to speak to me at all, and will not let us see the grandbaby whom we had grown very attached to in the 5 mos she lived here. Has even went so far as to post my picture on her Myspace with a caption reading "My sperm donor".
I cannot explain how bad this hurts me. Remember, not long ago she was a daddies baby, and now...And the tears I have shed could fill a sea. Trust me, if a man says he does not cry, he is a frakkin liar. Men just hide it more is all. Sometimes the grief from this is almost more than I can bear. But, deep down, I know I done the right thing. And, I believe it may all just work out in time. Remember the older daughter? Well she is now a US Marine serving in Yuma AZ with a beautiful son of her own. My wife and I just returned from a weeks visit there a couple weeks back. First thing she did was say "Dad, I am so sorry...I know now how it must have felt for you". We are very proud of her.
Anyway, all this rambling was to say hang in there and stand tough. You know it is best, and one day your son will too.
And for added help, I will certainly keep you in my prayers
Strider
